Your Pinterest Quote of an Excuse

 Them: “But it feels like YOU'RE replacing me” 

Me: “Oh no no no I would never, I could never, you’re my…”

Something you always needed confirmation for, yet it should have been something I asked instead. Throughout all those years I never expected to be replaced or dropped so instantaneously. You always made it seem like I would be the one to move on without you, if anything. No matter what people told me about you, our frienship, I never let that alter my view of you. I guess sometimes we make wrong assumptions of people. It doesn’t feel good to see you moving on so easily. Having someone just fill my spot and going on as though we never even met. I understand why you feared that loss... being on the other end is hurtful and hard. The sad part is I saw it coming a few weeks before, but I thought I was being ridiculous and decided not to believe myself. My second guesses have always been wrong, but I truly felt I was right this time. Every sign I should have taken with more consideration. 

The pictures felt like a public statement.

The captions felt intentionally directed.

The lack of communication felt purposeful.

The vanishing support felt like a way for you to slowly start your departure from my life.

The pitiful birthday dinner debocal felt like a bad lie.

The final appearance of us together felt like an easy cover up for you.

It’s mind boggling that even your NEW best friend seems to be in on the torturous mind games. The sudden snaps of maps from Oklahoma to your house. The pictures sent to my brother via snap by her. Why did these small inconveniences matter so much to you, when you already called it quits?

I told myself not to reach out to you, but I couldn’t help but feel the need to try. I sent you a card and two bags of your favorite candy. I never heard from you. Did you get it? Open it? Even read my card?

It feels like none of this affected you. Do you ever think about our friendship? Do pictures pop up? Can you still listen to the songs we used to dance to, sing to? Do you still enjoy getting breakfast at chiloso? Watching dances being performed? Texting in group chats we are both in? 

I want to end with a few quotes that I read recently that remind me of what you did.

"I wonder if we ever think of each other at the same time"

"You have no idea how badly I want your name to pop up on my phone"

"I wish you knew how bad it fucked me up"

"The only thing worse than losing you is knowing you did nothing to keep me"

"I miss the nights we used to just stay up and talk about everything"

"What a plot twist you were"

"And now you're just s stranger with all my secrets"

"Does it even bother you that we don't talk anymore?"

I thank you for ending our friendship with a beautiful Pinterest quote:

"Some friendships are meant to last seasons, and some are meant to last forever. Ours was not meant to last forever."

While I am still confused on how you came to your conclusion, and I do not agree with your reasoning, all I can do is write about it and move on. I hope that one day, before it is too late, you'll see this was a mistake.